A 30-year-old man from Brooklyn told me these factors are what makes older women a turn on. If she hasn’t tried it herself, she’s likely considered it.
“I find it comforting to know that her life goes on when I’m not around,” he said. Plus, I’m talking about outside of the bedroom as well. etc.) But many are not.** She’s choosier, and, unlike the 26-year-olds who think they’ll drop dead if they’re not engaged by 27, married at 28, and prego before 30, she’s looking at life a little differently now.
As a woman over 35, I’ve never felt more desired by men in their late 20s and early 30s than I do now—moreso even than when I was that age. Pay no attention to the ol’ elbow-jabbing, wink-wink idea that cougars* are “more likely to put out and pay for everything.” Meh, that may be a reason a naïve man attempts to score with an older lady, but it’s hardly the reason a smart man enters a relationship with one.
So if you’re only seeking women in the 21-29 age range, let me tell you, you’re missing out. And by that I mean: her own career, her own friends, her own apartment, her own money.
If your in a similar boat you will find them to be lacking in any real sexual creativity and are more interested in long term relationships than sexual exploration.
In addition you like the idea of a middle aged women taking control and teaching you the ropes.
Looking back at that relationship now, seven years later, there are so many things I wish someone had told me before I decided to become the Lolita to this guy’s Humbert².
That, by the way, is actually a comparison I made at the time, which is so gross to me now.
It offers the matchmaking service for charming and mature women as well as attractive men.
(Um, probably don’t do this, you guys.) It wasn’t like I was stupid. But I didn’t have enough experience or wisdom (as opposed to intelligence) to completely understand what I was getting into.
I thought I was totally prepared to deal with the daily realities of having a boyfriend who was older than me by a decade-plus, which turned out to be less than correct.
(This is code for, “I dread clingy girls who abandon their own ships the moment we have sex, and set up camp on my shore.”) Also, the fact that an older woman has her own money means she likely worked hard to get it. You may buy into the idea that all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want marriage/kids, because she might—but if so, she’ll be pretty clear about it up front.
Should you automatically go dutch or expect her to pay? In fact, you want to impress someone, treat a lady with some bank to a nice meal, because she appreciates exactly how much it costs. So when you take her out with your friends or coworkers, be it to a wedding or work event, you don’t have to worry she’ll perish without your constant attention. Since she’s got a little life on her (and maybe even a marriage in her past), she may not have the rigid checklist that a younger girl has.